Sunday, January 25, 2015

Seeing Myself

It is Day 15 of the fast. I may have found a groove. The devotional this morning mentioned that just as much might be true; however, it also said that this week may end up being the toughest. I wonder why that is? Will my endurance begin to falter? Will I lose faith in whatever God is doing through this time of consecration? I admit that sometimes I struggle to see God's activity. Nevertheless, this process has turned a mirror on myself. I have seen the small ways that food has become an idol in my life. I have seen how little I pray. I have seen how hesitant I am to ask God for things that I need and desire. I have seen the embers of anger inside of me flare up.

Perhaps fasting is about vision, seeing the things that God sees, seeing the things that He wants to change.

God, give me back my joy again. You have broken me--now let me rejoice. Don't keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Psalm 51: 8-10 (NLT)

Amen

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Talking About Sacrifice

As a Christian every once in a while, a situation arises in your life or a friend's that directly reflect a certain Biblical story or principle, and later on that day or the next (sometimes for the first time in a long while), you end up reading that exact story or hearing about that exact principle while reading a daily devotional plan, listening to a sermon, or experiencing some other oddly random yet seemingly orchestrated scenario.

I was talking earlier with Yeye about how acts of sacrifice indicate the working of love. I was suggesting to her that the loaning of her most valuable possessions (in this case, a sweater) with the knowledge that those possessions may not be returned to her in the same condition, is an intense, Jesus-approved act of love. In the process of explaining this principle, I was thinking of the episodes throughout the Bible when the principle is illustrated, and I can remember thinking most concretely about the woman who pours expensive perfume on Jesus' head, much to the chagrin of his disciples.

Lo and behold, after my delightfully delicious Sabbath day nap, I got up and took a look at my devotional for the day, and the passage of scripture highlighted was Mark 14:1-26, which includes the story of the woman who pours the perfume on Jesus.

These moments of overlap between the Bible and the day-to-day tend to happen most often when Bible reading is happening regularly and when one is having frequent conversations about God's activity. I felt so much truth as I was speaking those words to Yeye earlier, and maybe this moment of merging is just one of those ways that God nods to me and says, "I am with you."

Friday, January 16, 2015

A True Fast

The words that inspire the name of this blog can be found in Isaiah 58:3,12 (NIV):

v3. ‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
    ‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
    and you have not noticed?’
“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
    and exploit all your workers.

v12. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
    and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
    Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

I am on the 6th day of a 21 day fast. I have been skipping breakfast and only drinking water and juice until noon each day. Why am I fasting? The pastor at my new church, New Birth, called for the church to fast. But why am I fasting? Well, my fiancee Yeye started a fast, and since both she and the church were fasting, I decided to join in solidarity. But why am I fasting? Well, I need guidance. I want to know my calling in life. I want to have vision for my vocation. Heck, I could use a car too. But why am I fasting? Well, I want God to notice me. But based on this chapter in Isaiah, it sounds as if he needs me to notice others first.Who have I been overlooking?

Teach me God how to truly fast. Amen.